The Opposite Locker - Edition XXXVII

"Tim (Fractal Footwork)" (fractalfootwork)
09/30/2013 at 19:20 • Filed to: The Opposite Locker, Cool Wall, Chevrolet, Impala, OppositeLock

And we're back... This is The Opposite Locker where we try and sort out the cool from the square. This is a discussion system detailing how cool a car is, not how fast, fun, or frivolous it may be, but how well it looks in the cat's pajamas.

But, you may be asking, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Try a different web browser if the polls do not show. Asterisked* cars are moved more than slightly from the original vote by use of veto power, and double asterisked** cars are vehicles moved back under a challenge.

Locker Space

Frigid

Chrysler 300*

Dodge Challenger

Toyota GT 86

Porsche Cayman

McLaren

Porsche 918

Maserati GranTurismo

Aston Martin DB9

Aston Martin V12 Vantage

Jaguar F-Type

SRT Viper

Lamborghini Aventador

Cool

Ford Focus

Chevrolet Corvette (C7)

Mazda MX-5 Miata

Ford Mustang

Porsche 911

Tesla Model S

Maserati Quattroporte

Aston Martin V8 Vantage

Ferrari FF

Audi R8

Ford Fusion

Kia Optima

Mazda 6

Alfa Romeo 4C

Cadillac XTS

Fiat 500

Audi A7

Mercedes-Benz CLS

Ford Fiesta

Audi A8

Jeep Wrangler

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! - As !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! would note, "It's a relatively unknown car, but it does look sharp. And if someone asks you about your car you can say 'it's a Lotus Evora, a British sports car, I like it'. This does not sound overly expensive, but does sound like you made a very individual choice by buying a british sports car. The car has an evocative name instead of a nerdy number. In short, this car makes you look like someone who buys what he likes without wanting to flaunt his wealth."

Uncool

Nissan GT-R

Chevrolet Camaro

Porsche Boxster*

Porsche Cayenne

Ferrari 458 Italia

Lamborghini Gallardo

Ferrari LaFerrari

Nissan 370Z

Chevrolet Volt

Maserati Ghibli

BMW 3 Series

Aston Martin Vanquish*

Hyundai Genesis Coupe

Chevrolet Malibu

Hyundai Sonata

Honda Accord

Subaru Legacy

Lexus LF-A*

Buick Regal *

Volkswagen Golf*

Chevolet Silverado

Dodge Ram

Audi A5*

Jeep Grand Cherokee

Mercedes-Benz GLK

Cadillac Escalade

BMW 7 Series

Mercedes-Benz S Class

Square

Toyota Camry

Toyota Corolla

Porsche Panamera

McLaren MP4-12C*

Nissan Leaf

Toyota Prius

Nissan Altima

Chrysler 200

Dodge Avenger

Volkswagen Passat

Lexus IS

Lincoln MKZ

Ford F-150

BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo

New Kid On The Block

The last Impala was known to us all as a police vehicle until the comprehensive takeover by the rear-wheel-drive Charger left them for the elderly. The new Chevrolet Impala keeps with the scheme of its front wheels pulling the rest of the car along, and while the styling has more creases, something is still left to be desired. Some may have you believe that the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! yet against it's main rival (Dodge Challenger) the rest of us are still uncertain. So, has the refresh somehow made the new Impala cool?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Chevrolet Impala

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

DISCUSSION (10)

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:37

Never seen this car IRL, looks kinda ok. Voted cool.

Grindintosecond > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:43

It's to be a family sedan and I will vote cool because it is the coolest looking family sedan. there's better in other segments but then I would be comparing apples to oranges. I must resist buying a family sedan but if I had to, this would probably be it....as a family sedan. Mercedes, BMW, etc can all have their day but in the end what normal family will buy that? We normal families can't afford them. That makes this more cool. Cool/$=high.

HammerheadFistpunch > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:46

Look, its not a muscle car, its not a sports car...It is what it is, but it doesn't with a certain class and style that stands out in this segment. And its a good car to boot. Cool.

Brewman15 > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:46

I hate to say, but to me it is one of the few cars that look better in pictures than in person. Usually, it's the other way around.

It's got very long overhangs, and I don't like the crease on the rear quarter panel. I don't doubt it's a huge improvement over the previous generation, but to be honest that's not too hard to do.

So...uncool.

Sparf > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:47

Uncool because the styling (to me) promises RWD awesomeness and does not deliver. At all.

delete-me-please123 > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 12:49

Nothing is more square than a giant ugly sedan.

William Byrd > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 13:57

Uncool. The slightly-interesting-for-a-big-midsize styling helps it eek out Uncool vs. Square but that's about it.

dogisbadob > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 19:23

Uncool because GM is still afraid of glass. They should just drop the Impala and sell the Caprice to retail customers

twinturbobmw > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
09/30/2013 at 23:42

Put simply, this car would be best without the Impala badge. That's what makes it uncool.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/01/2013 at 06:02

Cool for only one reason: this time, it actually sticks true to the Impala name (apart from rear-wheel-drive and V8 power, duh). The previous one didn't.